I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
