I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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