Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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