is your mom at the bar?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
