I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
