Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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