Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
