Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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