i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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