Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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