Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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