i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize