I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
