I'm an idiot
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need to calm my uterus...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.