OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.