I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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