Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
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It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend