Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went