Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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