Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
her vagine was all disorganized.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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