and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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