Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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