My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
