Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Randomize
