that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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