"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
