Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
