I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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