I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
