just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
