Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
there is glitter all over my balls
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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