Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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