So drunk its hurt
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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