Me. At least after what I've been through.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
