hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
