porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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