Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am puke
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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