she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Couch. On fire.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
