we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
