the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize