How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
