My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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