that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
