My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
