just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
another moral hangover. fuck.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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