end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can Purell be used as lube?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
