Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
