remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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