My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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