6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
