The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize