thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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