so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
His nipple licking is glorious
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