I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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