I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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