I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
