a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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