She announced her abortion via fbk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
