I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
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