the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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