Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
