is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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