soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
