u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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