woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize