i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
