as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
