They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
