It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
